10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Poker is for loners.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986