10 Random Poker Quotes

• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.