10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob