10 Random Poker Quotes

• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.