10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• This site pulls more flushes than a public restroom!!!
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.