10 Random Poker Quotes

• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-