10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.