10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• it is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time: you can even fool some of the people all the time: but you can't fool al of the peole all the time. -Abraham Lincoln
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• You have to piss with the dick you have