10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson