10 Random Poker Quotes

• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Never educate a stupid poker player.