10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "No river, no fish."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.