10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.