10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• im going to 2 out you to death
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"