10 Random Poker Quotes

I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
Never educate a stupid poker player.
when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
Those eggs smell delicious!
To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.