10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs