10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson