10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)