10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare