10 Random Poker Quotes

• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts