10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.