10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Fold and live to fold again
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain