10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."