10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.