10 Random Poker Quotes

• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."