10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright