10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• im going to 2 out you to death
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986