10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."