10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.