10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Poker is for loners.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers