10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.