10 Random Poker Quotes

• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• Poker is like life, most people don't learn from their mistakes they only recognize them. C.Arel
• "I'd rather be lucky than good" - Lefty Gomez
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers