10 Random Poker Quotes

• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"