10 Random Poker Quotes

• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson