10 Random Poker Quotes

• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen