10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."