10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."