10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.