10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion