10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "No river, no fish."
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.