10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. - unknown
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth