10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.