10 Random Poker Quotes

• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"