10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"