10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Poker is for fat, American losers.