10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker is like life, most people don't learn from their mistakes they only recognize them. C.Arel
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway