10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.