10 Random Poker Quotes

• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen