10 Random Poker Quotes

• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Those eggs smell delicious!