10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)