10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is for loners.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders